Meet the Santa
by SweetDeamon
Summary: Banned from going to the local Christmas Fair thanks to their appalling antics last year, Teddy & Carrie are forced to spend the day at home. Whilst Dora spends the afternoon attempting to make a good impression, however, Remus is about to wish he had not instructed the children to 'make their own fun', or indeed refused to take them to the fair after all... Meet the... 'ficverse.


_Note: Hello everybody! 'Tis that time of year once again! So here is a Christmasy 'fic for you! This one is set the Christmas after Meet the Elves, making our favourite muggle and her best friend thirteen years old! Naturally, it being the Christmas Season, chaos is about to descend upon the Lupin household, along with some snow, a lot of giggling and plenty of silliness! Consider yourselves warned!_

_For anybody new: This is an AU 'ficverse in which Remus and Tonks survived the final battle. Carrie Winters is a muggle girl who moves in next door to the Lupins, befriends Teddy and learns about the magical world._

_**I would like to take this opportunity to thank anybody responding to my recent Author's Note in Meet the Daughter **__– your pleas and opinions have been noted and I am pleased to announce that __**I have decided that I WILL be writing and posting one more chaptered story**__ once Meet the Daughter is over. If anybody is after hints, there is a link to 'Pandora's Theme' on my profile. As for who Pandora is...you shall have to wait and see! (Or ask me. I'm rubbish at keeping secrets...!) The video also has the cover picture for the final story, minus the title, if anybody is curious, or wants to laugh at my ability to draw! There will also be a one shot set between MTD and the new 'fic, which is ready to be posted as soon as MTD is finished. Thank you very much to everybody who reviewed or PM'ed me about this – it was great to hear from you all and I honestly had no idea that people were that bothered! So thank you for making me smile!_

_It only remains for me to say one thing: Merry Christmas to all my readers and reviewers! I hope you have a great Christmas and a fantastic year to follow!_

_And one more thing: This 'fic is rated for Dora's colourful language!_

**Meet the Santa**

It was, according to the calender pinned to the fridge that his father had just wrenched open in a distinctly bad-tempered manner, just over a week until Christmas Day.

And yet Teddy Lupin was lacking in festive cheer.

"Will you take us?!" he asked his father for the umpteenth time, despite already knowing what the answer would be, and as Remus Lupin reached to snatch up a carlton of milk, he pointed out:

"We've been over this, Theodore..."

"Please take us!"

"No."

"But I really, really want to go!"

"No."

"I'll be good! I really will!"

"I seriously doubt it."

"Please!"

"No."

"Pretty please?! Pretty, pretty, pretty please..."

"No."

"...with a cherry on top?!"

"I said no, Theodore..."

Meanwhile, stalking along the shiny marble hallways of the Ministry of Magic, her face contorted in pure annoyance, Dora Lupin was not feeling Christmasy in the slightest.

"Do I have to?" the Deputy Head of Aurors asked, face contorting more than ever as she shot the man beside her a utterly revolted look.

And Minister for Magic Kingsley Shacklebolt simply responded:

"Yes."

"Do I really have to?"

"Yes."

"But...isn't Harry supposed to do it?"

"Yes."

"But...but you're going to just...make me do it?"

"Yes."

"But..."

"You know perfectly well that Harry is off sick, Tonks..."

"Well yeah...but...but do I HAVE to do it?!"

"Yes."

"Couldn't Mrs. Winters take us?" Teddy wondered as he stood fidgeting irritably beside the oven.

"Technically, yes."

"Well can Carrie ask her, then?"

"No."

"But..."

"No, Theodore."

"Couldn't Isaac do it?" Dora wondered as they rounded a corner, her footfalls growing steadily more stomping and bad-tempered.

"Technically, yes."

"Well can you ask him, then?"

"No."

"But..."

"No, Tonks."

"What if I promised to behave?!" Teddy asked as he shuffled after his father towards the sitting room, arms crossed firmly across his chest.

"No." his father said simply as he led the way into the room, sinking down onto the sofa with his cup of tea.

"But...but you can trust me!"

"No."

"Your just doing this to punish me, aren't you?!"

"No..."

"Really?"

"Well...no. Of course I'm doing it to punish you, Teddy. I'd be an idiot not to."

"What if I promised to find somebody else to do it?" Dora asked as the Minister reached to jab a finger at the button to summon the lift. "Would that really be so awful?"

"Yes." the Minister said simply, folding his arms firmly across his chest.

"But...but would it REALLY?"

"Yes."

"But why?! Isaac and Jasmine could do it perfectly well couldn't they?"

"Yes."

"Well then! If that's true you're only asking me because you want to annoy me!"

"Yes."

"Seriously?!"

"Yes, Tonks. That and the fact that you're the Deputy Head of the Department and therefore if Harry can't do it your job _requires_ you to step in."

"You'll have to make your own fun and go somewhere else." Remus informed Teddy firmly.

"Seriously?!" Teddy moaned, as if he couldn't quite believe his luck, and Remus thought about it for a second before amending:

"In fact you'll have to make your own fun _at home._"

"You'll have to bake a cake or something." the Minister mused thoughtfully as the lift gave a ding and the doors slid open.

"Seriously?!" Dora asked, eyes widening at such a ridiculous request, and as they shuffled into the lift the Minister thought about it for a second before amending:

"You'll have to ask _your mother_ to bake a cake or something."

"Bloody hell..." Teddy muttered, causing his father to offer him a deeply unamused stare.

"Bloody hell..." Dora grumbled, causing the Minister to offer her a deeply amused grin.

No indeed, neither Teddy nor Dora Lupin were feeling remotely Christmasy that day, in fact come the evening when Dora arrived home from work to find Teddy sat sprawled upon the sofa with a face like thunder, they were both feeling downright miserable.

"What's wrong with you, then?" Dora consented to wondering as she dusted the soot from her scarlet Auror robes, and Teddy shot her a scowl at her tone and told her:

"Dad is refusing to take Carrie and I to the Christmas fair on Saturday. Even though I promised to stay away from Santa and his elves!"

"Makes perfect sense to me, love." Dora admitted as she flopped down onto the sofa next to her son, and when she didn't sound even vaguely amused, Teddy asked:

"What's your excuse?"

"The Head of the Australian Auror Department is coming over for some fancy meeting at the Ministry, and Kingsley's making me have him over for tea as a_ goodwill gesture to strengthen our diplomatic relationship_ or whatever. It's going to be bloody awful and he says I have to get Gran to bake a cake!"

Teddy gave a sympathetic huff and with that the two of them lapsed into silence, scowling down at their shoes.

And it here that Carrie Winters discovered them some half an hour later.

Unlike Teddy and Dora, Carrie was feeling extremely festive as she crossed the gravel driveway between her front door and theirs, a large sports bag stuffed full of belongings balanced precariously on one shoulder and a Tupperware box clasped in both hands.

Because it was, without a doubt, going to be the best lead up to Christmas in Carrie's living memory. The muggle was absolutely sure of it.

Having been invited to a Christmas party back in their hometown of Tillbury that weekend, Mr. and Mrs. Winters had decided to make a real occasion of it and were off to stay with some old friends for the remainder of the week, returning with just a few days before Christmas to spare. Their three children were due to be deposited at their Aunt Susan's flat on the other side of town whilst they were away. This was a notion that Carrie had found utterly unbearable. The idea of having to spend so long within such close proximity to her two troublesome brothers, let alone share Aunt Susan's tiny spare bedroom with them for more than one night, was a complete and utter nightmare.

Upon hearing of her parents plans, Carrie had done the first thing that had come to mind: _Run away._

Run next door, to be more precise, where she had hammered relentlessly upon the front door until a somewhat flustered-looking Dora had finally appeared to open it.

For a moment the complete and utter horror of her current situation had been lost to her as Carrie had taken one look at the witch and wondered:

"What on earth have you done to your hair?"

Dora had reached to swipe a hand through the disarrayed mess of rainbow locks with a somewhat abashed huff.

"Don't you like it?" the witch had asked in mock-offence, arching an eyebrow, and as she consented to sniggering, Carrie waited for Dora to step aside and let her in.

The Auror didn't move.

"Ted's at his gran's house." she said instead as she peered round the door at the muggle. "He's helping her decorate her Christmas tree."

"That's alright." Carrie told her. "I wanted to talk to you, really. Or Remus."

"Remus is out..." Dora began, only for her husband's voice to call from somewhere upstairs:

"Who is it, darling?!"

At Carrie's instant frown, Dora flinched.

"I mean he's _completely out of it_...he's in a terribly state...full moon and everything..." the witch mumbled, and with that she turned to call:

"It's Carrie, Sweetheart!"

Carrie was just noting for the first time that Dora was in actual fact wearing a massively oversized dark navy dressing gown that the muggle was certain wasn't her own when Remus called:

"Oh...is she coming in, then?"

"Nah...go back to sleep!" his wife shouted back, and with that she turned to offer the muggle a rather apologetic smile as she explained: "I was just getting in the bath, Carrie love..."

"Oh...right..." Carrie said, trying not to sound disbelieving, more for her own good than anybody else's. "Well...I just...I just wondered if...well..."

"If well...?"

"My parents are going away to Tillbury and they're leaving us at Aunt Susan's, and I don't want to stay there because it's boring and the twins are annoying and Aunt Susan's cooking is awful..."

"Right..."

"And...well I was wondering if maybe, if you didn't mind, I might stay with you instead?"

"Um..." Dora frowned deeply as if she was not entirely sure whether or not this was a good idea, only to seemingly give up on her deliberations within half a second with a shrug. "Well I don't really...but...sure! Sure, love. Whatever you like."

"Really?"

"Yep! Is that it? Because...the water'll be stone cold..."

"Well...I suppose but..."

"Great! See you later then, love!"

"But...but you haven't even asked me how long or when..." Carrie began, but Dora had already pushed the door firmly shut.

Not that Carrie had particularly cared. Dora had said yes, which was the important thing, and so Carrie had half-skipped back into her own kitchen to inform her mother.

As Carrie dumped the heavy bag down upon the Lupins' doorstep and reached to knock upon the door she found herself humming jiggle bells, fingers tapping excitedly upon the tupperware box she held in her hands.

Today, it was Remus who answered the door, and the werewolf offered the muggle bright smile as he stepped aside to let her in.

"Hello Carrie." he greeted as the muggle stooped to grasp hold of her bag, preparing to heave it over the threshold. "Merlin, what've you got in there? Bricks?"

"Just clothes, really." Carrie sniggered as he reached to snatch up the bag on her behalf.

"Clothes...?" the werewolf said, sounding rather bemused as she stepped inside and reached to close the door behind her.

"Well yes, obviously..." she said, frowning deeply at his surprise, and the wizard dumped the bag down beside the cloak stand and said:

"Obviously...right then...would you like some tea? I was just pouring some."

"Yes please." Carrie said, making a beeline for the sitting room where she could hear voices, and there she found Dora and Teddy both sitting sprawled upon the sofa, looking glum to say the least.

"Wotcher, Carrie love." Dora greeted dully, and Teddy offered his best friend a vague wave.

"Hi!" Carrie greeted, half-bounding across the room to stand before them. Determined to cheer them up, she thrust the tupperware box into Dora's lap and announced: "Mum's made you a cake!"

Too her deepest bemusement, Dora simply groaned, reaching to run a hand over her face wearily, which seemed to make Teddy snigger.

"What sort of cake?" the youngest Lupin wondered, looking marginally cheered, and Carrie informed him:

"It's a sponge cake with lemon curd and cream."

"Sounds delicious, love." Dora said, finally consenting to cracking a smile, only for it to falter in confusion when Carrie explained:

"It's to say thank you, she says."

"Thank you for what?" the Auror wondered, shifting to sit a little more upright as Teddy snatched up the tupperware box, pulling off the lid to inspect the sweet treasure within.

"For having Carrie to stay, obviously!" the boy pointed out rather as if he thought his mother terribly dim, as he reached to jab a finger at the generous layer of cream atop the cake.

"Don't do that, Ted." Dora muttered distractedly, reaching to swat his hand away, and with that she fixed Carrie with a deep frown and asked: "And...when's this happening...?"

"Now, Mum!" Teddy exclaimed, throwing his hands up in exasperation and narrowly avoiding knocking the cake from his lap and down onto the floor. "Tonight! For the rest of the week!"

"Tonight?! When on earth did I..."

"Ages ago!"

"Did I?"

"I came and asked you about it on Monday." Carrie reminded the witch quietly, feeling her face warming in embarrassment as the witch's gaze roamed up towards the ceiling in consideration. "I...Ted was at his gran's house decorating the tree...and...and Remus was ill after full moon..."

"There hasn't bee a full mo..."

"Don't interrupt Ted, Carrie's talking!"

"You were...about to get in the bath so you just said..."

"Oh!"

"You said yes."

"I did, didn't I? Because Aunt Susan's cooking is awful! Yes...right..."

"You hadn't forgotten, had you?" Carrie wondered anxiously, and Dora let out a rather high chuckle and insisted that of course she hadn't, in a manner that suggested that in fact yes, she most certainly had.

"Remind me...when are your parents coming home again?" the witch asked cheerily as she sprung to her feet, turning to snatch the cake out of Teddy's grasp and making a beeline for the door.

"Sunday night..." Carrie mumbled, face growing positively pink, and as she watched Dora reach the door to the hallway she could have sworn she heard the Auror mutter:

"Oh shit..."

"Is...is that going to be alright...?" Carrie found herself asking rather guiltily, only for the witch to shoot her a broad grin over her shoulder and exclaim:

"Of course it is, love! Why wouldn't it be? Don't be silly..." And with that she turned to bolt out into the hallway, calling: "REMUS?!"

"She's forgotten, hasn't she?" Carrie observed dully as she dropped down into the seat that the witch had just vacated. "Do you think I should go to Aunt Susan's after all?"

"Nope!" Teddy said, sliding sideways until he was lying sprawled across the sofa, his legs across her lap. "It's pitch black outside, for one thing..."

"I could ask your dad to apparate me..."

"Don't even think about it." Teddy insisted, yawning widely. "I need you to help me work on Dad."

"Oh?"

"He says we can't go to the Christmas Fair in the high street after what happened with the _elves_ last year!" Despite sounding quite despondent over the whole business, the mere mention of elves left the young wizard to snigger, which instantly set Carrie off giggling.

"It's not funny, Carrie." Teddy attempted to insist despite his own amusement, and the muggle giggled even more and pretended to agree:

"No Teddy, it's not." She turned to offer him a deeply serious look as she asked: "What're we going to do about it?"

"Well we need a plan, obviously." Teddy decided, frowning deeply at the notion.

"A plan?"

"Yes. A plan to persuade Dad to let us go to the fair."

"Exactly."

"Yes, a really good plan..."

As she set the washing up to clean itself in the sink after dinner that evening, Dora Lupin turned to watch her husband trail into the kitchen, a chorus of familiar voices following him down the hall:

_Please, please, please, please..._

_Please, please, please..._

_PLEASE!_

_Please, please..._

"How long've they kept it up now?" the Auror wondered as Remus deposited the empty mug he was holding into the sink.

"Half an hour." the werewolf muttered, and with that he retreated back into the sitting room, his two now constant companions wandering after him.

_Please, please, please..._

Dora wandered after them and she and Remus went to sit down upon the sofa.

_Please, please, please!  
Please!_  
"D'you fancy listening to the wireless?" Dora wondered as the two teenagers stood in front of them, rocking impatiently back upon their heels as they continued their verbal bombardment.

"Yes, let's..." Remus murmured, and with that he leant to give the wireless a sharp tap with his wand, and all of a sudden trumpets and drums were blaring out of the speaker, drowning everything else out.

"When shall we snap and tell them to go upstairs?" the witch wondered, half-shouting into the werewolf's ear, and as he settled back in his seat, gaze drifting serenely up to the ceiling Remus suggested:

"Never. They'll be far more irritated if we do it this way."

The day of the fair dawned, bright but chilly, and in the past few days all of Teddy and Carrie's attempts to persuade Remus to take them had ended in abject failure. Determined not to give up, however, the two teenagers bounded downstairs for breakfast that morning, ready to argue their case one last time, only for their plans to be scuppered almost as soon as they entered the kitchen.

As usual they found Remus sat at the table, chewing somewhat pensively on a slice of marmalade on toast as he eyed the headlines on that morning's Daily Prophet, only to glance up and the sound of something being set down upon the table in front of him.

"Oh!" Teddy exclaimed as his mother stepped back from the table to eye the sugar-topped victoria sponge cake with a slight frown. "Cake!"

"You and bloody cake..." Dora muttered as her son came skidding up to the table, and as he leaned down to get a better look at it the witch snapped: "Don't touch it! It's not for you."

"It looks like one of Gran's." Teddy observed as Carrie trailed into the room after him.

"I don't care what it looks like." his mother insisted irritably as she reached to snatch up her cup of coffee. "It's not for you."

`'Humbug..." Teddy grumbled, and Dora opened her mouth to snap at him, only for Remus to grasp hold of her by the elbow, tugging her down into a seat beside him.

"Why don't we all sit down and talk about what's happening today." the werewolf suggested meaningfully, and as she obediently went to perch on a chair, Carrie saw Teddy draw in a deep breath, no doubt about to launch into one last attempt to impress upon his father the immense fun to be had at the Christmas Fair that afternoon...

But then Dora announced:

"We've got an important visitor coming this afternoon, Ted, and I want the entire house to look utterly spotless, so this morning we're going to clean it from top to bottom."

Teddy simply gaped at his mother in horror.

"What?!"

"We'll start in the sitting room and the hallway." Dora went on, turning her attention to Remus as if her son's horror had not really registered at all. "D'you reckon you could try and do something about the cloak stand, love? It's been looking wonky ever since James and Albus crashed that toy broomstick into it the other week..."

"CLEANING?!" Teddy half-shrieked in an attempt to be noticed, and Remus sipped his tea and decided:

"I'll take a look at it after I've swept the fireplace."

"Mu-um!" Teddy exclaimed as Carrie helped herself to the box of cornflakes by Remus' elbow. "It's the day of the Christmas Fair!"

"Is it really?" Dora asked, sounding entirely uninterested. "Fancy that! Now, we've still got some of the boxes of Christmas decorations left out in the hallway, so they'll need to go back up in the attic room if we're not going to use them..."

"Can't we go for just...HALF AN HOUR?!" Teddy pleaded, and his parents paused in their discussion to insist simultaneously:

"No, Theodore."  
Teddy dropped down into his seat with a huff and Carrie paused in her careful measuring out of cornflakes to lie:

"I was hoping to go and buy Mum a Christmas present. I haven't bought her anything yet."

"Well we'll have to go shopping somewhere else tomorrow." Dora said, causing Teddy to fidget irritably in his seat. "Look, Ted," the Auror insisted, "I don't like this any more than you do..."

"I bet you do." Teddy retorted, and his father promptly told him:

"Don't speak to your mother like that, Ted."

"...but Minister Shacklebolt says I have to host tea for the Australian Head of Aurors this afternoon. I told you about it the other day, didn't I?"

Teddy's exaggerated groan suggested that yes, she certainly had.

"It's _Minister Shacklebolt_ this morning, is it?" Remus murmured into his cup with a snigger. "You must be livid with him, darling."

At this observation, even Teddy managed a huff of amusement and at Dora's frown the boy explained:

"You only ever call him Minister Shacklebolt if you're speaking to the press or if he's pissed you off..."

"Language!" Both parents snapped, only to ruin their fury somewhat by laughing and Dora admitted:

"It's true, he has pissed me off..."

"_Dora_."

"So! We're all in this together! It'll be over before we know it! We tidy the house, you two make yourselves scarce upstairs for a couple of hours and keep the noise down, Dad and I make civilised conversation, drink tea and eat cake for an excruciating little while, then we wave goodbye, bundle this guy back into the floo and ta-dah! We're free to enjoy the rest of the day..."

"Then can we..."

"...which, Theodore, won't involve going to the Christmas Fair!"

"M-um!"

"Dad and I won't hear another word about it! Now eat some breakfast, we've got a lot of work to do!"

"Even Carrie?" Teddy asked incredulously, and Dora admitted:

"No, not Carrie. She can laze around on the sofa and point out when you miss a bit whilst polishing the mirror..."

"You want me to polish the mirror?!"

"Yes. And the one in the bathroom. And the one on my dressing table."

"But...but who's going to see the one on your dressing table?! It's in your bedroom, for goodness sake!"

"I know, but I can barely see my face in it."

As he splashed milk into his bowl, Teddy's face contorted in defeat as he complained:

"This is the worst Christmas holiday EVER!"

And so it was that at precisely one o'clock that afternoon, just as Teddy and Carrie were heaving the last box of unused Christmas decorations up the stairs, the two children heard the distinct whooshing sound of somebody exiting the floo.

The box the two children were holding was very nearly sent flying as a blur of scarlet came bolting down the stairs, and Carrie had barely regained her balance and grip upon the box when she saw Dora dart into the sitting room, greeting:

"Mr. Basset! How wonderful to see you..."

"Mum reckons," Teddy informed his best friend rather breathlessly as they dragged the box across the landing towards the stairs up to the attic room, "Rogan Basset is the most dull Auror she's ever met in her entire life..."

"We'll hear none of that, thank you." Remus' voice announced from across the hallway, and Carrie and Teddy glanced to spot the werewolf stood before the bathroom mirror, scraping the last of the stumble and shaving foam from his chin.

"But it's true!" Teddy insisted as his father abandoned the razor upon the edge of the sink in favour of snatching up a towel to dab at his face with instead with a frown. "She said just now in the kitchen! She said it was just typical that of all the Australians on the planet she had to be having tea with the only one who didn't have a sense of humour!"

"Try not to make too much noise up here." Remus insisted, fiddling with the top button of his shirt and tossing the towel in the direction of the laundry basket. "And if you have to come downstairs stay out of the sitting room and be as quiet as ghosts."

"When's he leaving?" Teddy wondered, already sounding longing for that triumphant moment, and as he headed for the stairs, his father admitted:

"Merlin knows, but for Kingsley's sake let's hope your mother isn't forced to make polite conversation for more than an hour..." As he disappeared downstairs, Carrie could have sworn she heard him mutter: "Or for all our sakes. Any longer and we all die of boredom..."

"What d'you suppose they'll talk about?" Carrie asked as she and Teddy set about hauling the box of Christmas decorations up the final flight of stairs.

"Loads of boring things." Teddy theorised, flinching a little when Carrie narrowly avoided dropping the box on his foot. "Politics...the weather...stuff like that."

"Does your mum know a lot about politics, then?"

"Dad thinks she does. He says being a Deputy Head of a Ministry Department is a bit like being a politician, sometimes. But I don't think she knows anything."

"Why not?"

"Because whenever they talk about it she tells Harry that politics are _a load of old bollocks_."

"Well...aren't they?"

"I don't know...why, are they?"

"I don't know..." Carrie let out a heavy sigh as at long last Teddy heaved the box up onto the top step, reaching to open the attic room door. "It all sounds very...complicated."

"Yes," Teddy agreed with a deep frown. "Maybe they should stick to talking about the weather..."

"For over an hour?" Carrie wondered doubtfully, and as Teddy dragged the box into the room, greeted by a soft hoot from Dora's owl Helga who was perched in a cage in the corner, the muggle looked down at the sparkling array of Christmas decorations and said: "I bet they talk about Christmas!"

"Christmas?"

"Yes! Everybody likes talking about Christmas."

"Even miserable and boring people like the Australian Head of Aurors?"

"Of course! Even boring people like talking about Christmas. They like to moan about how...how awfully cheery and how terribly not-boring it is. My Grandma used to do it all the time!"

"Well your grandma was obviously mental." Teddy decided frankly. "I love Christmas! Everybody loves Christmas! Even Cleo Clancy loves Christmas...and she spends half of it hiding behind the Christmas tree, in case Santa's elves decide to pay her visit and she has to beat them off of her with a roll of wrapping paper..."

At the thought of her friend Cleo's utter hatred and fear of tinsel-clad, jingle bell-wielding elves and the chaos that had ensued at the Christmas Fair the previous year, Carrie promptly dissolved into giggles.

"I wish we could go this year!" she exclaimed, dropping down to eye the Christmas decorations as Teddy set about heaving aside a trunkful of papers and pieces of faded parchment.

"I suppose we'll have to make our own fun somehow, like Dad said." the young wizard admitted, before pointing to the corner and informing the muggle: "This box is supposed to go over there."

Carrie was about to move to help clear a path through the various boxes and chests when something in the box caught her eye and she reached to extract an over-sized glass vial of pristine liquid, stopped with a large cork at the top.

"I'm not sure this potion is supposed to be here, Ted." she observed, eying the vial for a label of some kind, and Teddy waded his way back through the various mound of things he was moving to get a better look.

"That's not a normal potion." the metamorphmagus grinned. "It's Fake Snow!"

"Fake snow?"

"That's right."

"Muggles have fake snow too." Carrie informed him proudly, glad to be on a par with Wizardkind for once. "It comes in a can and people spray it on their Christmas Trees."

To the muggle's vague indignation the wizard gave a soft snort and pointed out:

"Snow doesn't come in cans, Carrie!"

"Well it doesn't come in glass vials, either!" Carrie retorted, giving the mixture a shake and frowning at how very much unlike snow it seemed, for it appeared to be entirely liquid.

"Of course it doesn't!" Teddy agreed, grinning broadly. "It falls from the sky!"

"And so does Wizard Fake Snow, does it?" Carrie asked disbelievingly, and Teddy stepped forward to gesture to the vial and insist:

"Of course it does! Try it!"

Frowning deeply, Carrie reached to brace her thumb against the cork in the top of the vial, pushing against it as she observed:

"Well for starters there doesn't seem to be very much of it..."

_POP!_

As the cork came shooting free from the vial like a bullet from a gun, Carrie gave an alarmed jerk, and Teddy shrieked:

"POINT IT UP..."

But before he could finish a sudden gush of white exploded forth, streaking through the air and striking Teddy in the face, causing Carrie to let out a shrieking scream of alarm...

And downstairs in the sitting room, Dora Lupin paused in her slicing of Victoria sponge cake to cast a brief glance up towards the ceiling.

"Did you hear..." her husband began from where he sat upon the sofa just behind her, and the Deputy Head of Aurors' gaze darted back down to the cake as she hastily insisted:

"_I didn't hear anything_, Remus. Would you care for a slice of cake, Mr. Basset?"

The Australian Head of Aurors frowned deeply, before grunting:

"Please."

"How are you finding the weather in London?" Dora asked as she slipped the first slice of cake onto a plate.

Back upstairs Carrie had managed to spray a seemingly never-ending supply of fake snow all over the room before finally managing to jam the cork back into the vial, whereupon she hastily flung the vial back in the box with a great sigh of relief, jumping back a few steps as if the box might just explode in the process.

"Excellent!" Teddy muttered furiously as he surveyed the little room that was beginning to look alarmingly like a scene from the North Pole, the walls and ceiling coated in white as snow fell from the ceiling in continuous flakes that shrunk away into nothing just inches above the childrens' heads. In her cage, Helga gave an indigent hoot, giving her feathers a shake in an attempt to detach the clumps of snow from her wings with little success. "Look at it! Mum'll have our heads on spikes!"

Carrie sniggered.

"It's not funny!" Teddy insisted, rounding on the muggle to offer her the worst scowl he could muster. "Do you have any idea how long it'll take to clean this up?! We'll be here until _next_ Christmas!"

But apparently this only seemed to make Carrie snigger more than ever, and when Teddy reached to fold his arms furiously across his chest the muggle burst out laughing, bent over and positively trembling with amusement.

"Tell me what's so funny about this!" Teddy demanded, giving his foot a furious little stamp. "Because there's no chance Mum or Dad'll clean it away with magic! And it sticks to...everything! Absolutely everything, I've no idea how we'll clean...just...stop it! STOP LAUGHING!"

By now Carrie was gasping for breath between laughter, shaking her head vigorously as she raised an arm to point at her friend.  
"But...but Ted!" she managed to choke out between her hysterics. "But look! Look at...look in the mirror...look!"

Frowning deeply, Teddy turned and went to push aside a box or two, snatching up an old, dusty mirror that had been left propped up against one wall.

The wizard stared at his reflection...

He blinked.

And then he blinked again.

"See!" Carrie giggled, and Teddy took one last look at the enormous clumps of fake snow that had materialised upon his face like a snowy white beard and promptly dissolved into laughter.

"Y...you look...you look like an old man! Like...like Santa!" Carrie gasped, slapping her hands down upon her legs in amusement, and as he put the mirror down and rounded on her, the youngest Lupin grinned and, throwing his hands up in a grand fashion exclaimed:

"HO HO HO! MERRY CHRISTMAS!"

The two children continued to laugh somewhat hysterically about their festive blunder for some minutes until their amusement was cut abruptly short when a voice from the bottom of the attic stairs called:

"Teddy!"

At the sound of footsteps, Carrie let out a gasp of panic, and Teddy made a mad dash for the door, pushing it shut and flattening himself against it as he called:

"Y...yes Dad?!"

"What in Merlin's name are you doing up there? We can hear screaming and shouting and all sorts!" Remus called disapprovingly, and Teddy hastily called:

"Nothing! We're doing nothing!"

"Well try and _do nothing _a bit more quietly!" his father called sternly, and Carrie felt relief to hear the footsteps descending the stairs again. "It's not too late to cancel Christmas, you know..."

"Humbug!"

"What was that?!"

"Nothing Dad!"

Once Remus' footsteps had disappeared back downstairs and both Teddy and Carrie had stifled another snigger, the werewolf's son gave a heavy sigh and admitted:

"That was close! Imagine what he'd have said if he'd have seen all this mess!"

"Let's get the decorations back where they should be so we can start cleaning." Carrie suggested, and with that the two of them set about clearing a path to the Christmas decorations' designated corner.

It was, Carrie soon discovered, terribly easy to get distracted when surrounded by so many different objects and intriguing boxes.

"What's this?" the muggle wondered as she pushed open what appeared to be an old wicker picnic basket to reveal a fleecy garment of fire engine red, the shade so violently bright against the snowy room that it made Carrie blink.

"That's Mum's old dressing gown." Teddy identified as Carrie pulled it out of the basket for closer inspection.

"It looks brand new to me." Carrie observed, and Teddy sniggered as he admitted:

"That's because she never really wore it. Gran bought it for her for Christmas years ago, but it's too small!"

Carrie had to admit that she struggled to understand how any piece of clothing could be too big or small for a metamorphmagus like Dora, but before she could voice this thought aloud Teddy had reached to pull the dressing gown from her grasp, throwing it around his shoulders and slipping his arms into the sleeves as he muttered:

"Give it here, I'm freezing cold in this room!" Before she could point out how ridiculous he looked, the young wizard had gestured to the wall just behind him and observed: "Look, we've nearly uncovered the old fireplace."

"I didn't know there was one up here." Carrie admitted, shuffling forward to get a closer look, and Teddy grinned somewhat wickedly as he recalled:

"I used to tell James and Albus it was haunted. The chimney, I mean. I used to sneak up here whilst they were playing in the sitting room, dangle things down the chimney and make a racket! Once Vic and the others were round too...I dropped an old candlestick down and it made such a loud noise that Dominique burst into tears!"

"Yes well, that's because you're a horrible little toerag!" Carrie informed him as she pushed aside a large sackful of Merlin knew what in order to peer into the empty fireplace.

"That's what Mum said." Teddy recalled somewhat regretfully. "She said if I didn't stop being such a terror she'd find me a sweep and send me up there to do some cleaning!"

Carrie leant further forward to peer down the chimney shaft, frowning deeply.

"It's awfully dark down there." she observed, only to step back again when Teddy leaned to look over her shoulder. "You're getting your beard on my jumper." the muggle informed him with mock indignation, attempting to swat the snow off onto the floor with little success, and rather than apologise Teddy merely sniggered.

Carrie was about to attempt to scold him with a straight face, only for something to draw her attention out of the corner of her eye.

"Ted," the muggle said, darting sideways and dropping down into a crouch, "Are there any giants in your family?"

"Giants?" Teddy echoed, turning to see what had caught his friend's attention. "Not that I...WOW!"

"They're enormous!" Carrie observed keenly as Teddy rushed to get a better look at the gigantic pair of boots that were sandwiched between a cardboard box stuffed full of baby clothes and what appeared to be a somewhat mouldy collection of leather bound books.

"I bet I could fit two of my feet in one of those!" Teddy exclaimed, and he promptly set about yanking a slipper from his foot so that he could test the theory.

"Are you sure you want to just put your foot in..." Carrie began, trailing off with a wrinkled nose as the young wizard shoved his foot enthusiastically into one of the shoes. Instead, the muggle wondered: "Whose d'you suppose they are, then?"

"I don't know..." Teddy mused, wobbling as he stooped in an attempt to tighten the laces, a task that Carrie thought was rather pointless given how huge the boots were. "Hagrid's, maybe!"

"What on earth are your parents doing with a pair of Hagrid's boots in their attic?" Carrie asked, and as Teddy shoved his other foot into the second boot, the muggle tensed a little in worry to ask: "You don't suppose they're...tampered with, do you?! Cursed or...or something!"

"Don't be silly!" Teddy sniggered, tying the laces into haphazard knots before straightening up triumphantly, the enormous boots now secured precariously upon his feet.

"But what if...what if he gave them to your mum or dad to look at because...you know..."

"They look brand new to me!" Teddy pointed out with a grin. "Maybe...maybe they're a Christmas present or something!"

"Buried under all these things up here?" Carrie wondered doubtfully as he took a few experimental and extremely wobbly steps back towards the fireplace.

"They're like clown shoes on me! Give me your hand!" Teddy exclaimed, entirely unconcerned about where the strange footwear had come from, "Before I fall flat on my f...oops!"

Carrie flinched to see the shoes slide upon the snowy floorboards, and Teddy's arms flailed quite madly in an attempt to keep his balance, and before she could lunge forward to grab hold of the back of the dressing gown, Carrie watched her friend crash to the floor, sending the sack beside the fireplace sprawling sideways...

Carrie let out an in comprehensive shout of warning as the sack rolled into the fireplace, and promptly disappeared, falling down the chimney with a soft thud!

Downstairs the adults in the sitting room again paused in their contemplation of the weather and other suitably boring things at the sound of a loud thump from somewhere upstairs, following by another noise that signalled a sudden gush of soot to come raining down the chimney into the grate.

"Owls!" Dora muttered, shifting uneasily in her chair with a somewhat mechanical titter. "Honestly!" And then beside her Remus hurriedly wondered:

"Do you have plans to return to Australia in time for Christmas, Mr. Basset?"

The Australian Head of Aurors gave a vague grunt and reached for his cake.

"Christmas," he grunted as he snatched up a dessert fork and stabbed at the sponge. "Can't stand it..."

Meanwhile, back in the attic, Carrie and Teddy were both squinting down the chimney shaft after the wayward sack, deep frowns upon their faces.

"What was in there?" Carrie wondered worriedly, and Teddy admitted:

"I have no idea...it wasn't here the other day when Dad and I came to fetch the decorations."

"I hope whatever it was isn't fragile." Carrie said, glancing back at the already abysmal state of the distinctly snow-tinged room behind them and rather wishing for the briefest moment that she had gone to Aunt Susan's after all, where there was no exploding fake snow with the apparent properties of super glue, no boxes to trip over, no adults to disturb downstairs and not a single fireplace in sight...

Merlin, the muggle thought, adjusting the festive red scarf complete with white bobbles around her neck with a slight shiver, when Remus and Dora saw this mess...!

She was just endeavouring to hurry and clean it up when Teddy announced:

"I can see it! Look, lodged in the corner just there!"

Carrie consented to sticking her head back into the fireplace, squinting down the chimney to the dark area that Teddy was pointing at.

"It's not fallen too far..." the muggle observed, glad at the thought that whatever was inside the sack might come out of this whole mess in reasonable condition.

"I bet I can reach it!" Teddy mused, leaning a little further down, hand outstretched in an attempt to grab hold of the sack lodge in the chimney below. "If...if I move just a bit...just a little closer!"

"Be careful!"

"Just...just a little more..."

"Not too far!"

"Almost got it...almost...YES!" As his finger enclosed around the material, Carrie pleaded:

"Don't fall! It's quite a long way down!"

In his triumph, the young wizard turned to offer the muggle a raised eyebrow.

"Don't be ridiculous, Carrie." he told her with a grin. "I'm not going to f...ARGHHHHH!"

"TED!" Carrie shrieked, lunging forward in an attempt to grab hold of him by the ankle as he shot head first down the hole, but she only succeeded in losing her scarf, snagged upon Teddy's elbow the brightly knitted garment went plummeting straight after him...

And down in the sitting room Australian Head of Aurors Rogan Basset paused in his latest droning verbal attack upon the festive season and all it's apparently numerous faults, dessert fork poised as he froze mid-gesture at the sound of a sudden whooshing noise, accompanied by an ear-splitting cry...

Both Dora and Remus' gazes snapped round towards the source of the noise, and both Lupins promptly screwed their eyes shut at a sudden eruption of soot and dust from the chimney which made their visitor fling his fork up in the air in surprise.

And half a second later a large sack landed in the grate with a thud, spilling a large array of elaborately wrapped gifts in festive paper out over the sitting room floor. Dora had barely drawn breath to mutter whichever expletive first came to mind when the sackful of presents was joined by an infuriatingly familiar white-bearded figure dressed in some sort of jolly red costume with enormous shiny black boots. Upon impact, with a shout the miniature Santa sent one present flying from the sack, up into the air, and Remus failed to do anything but watched in weary resignation as the ribbon-adorned box soared across the room, landing slap bang upon the cake in the middle of the coffee table with a _splat_!

A splat that made Dora wince as blobs of jam, squirts of cream and chunks of sponge cake exploded all over the surrounding area, coating their honoured guest's pristine orange Auror robes in the sticky aftermath.

As a large dollop of cream slid down the bridge of a distinctly pink-faced Rogan Basset's nose, Dora watched its progression in horrified silence and began to wonder how many Howlers she would receive from the Minister of Magic that afternoon.

And as he watched his son struggle into a sitting position, Remus wondered if he'd feel a little less mortified if he chose to stare at his shoes instead.

_I should've taken them to that wretched Christmas Fair_, the werewolf realised dully.

Next to him Dora was watching the blob of cream as it teetered precariously upon the edge of Rogan Basset's nose.

_Remus should've taken them to that bloody Christmas Fair_, the witch realised furiously as the Australian's expression grew increasingly murderous.

And all three adults' gaze came to rest upon the boy struggling his way out of the fireplace as he finally managed to rise somewhat shakily to his feet.

Teddy looked around at the assortment of faces, none of whom looked particularly impressed by his appearance in their midst, and after sucking in a deep, considering breath, decided to try:

"Ho, ho...ho...?"

**Finish.**

**Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!**


End file.
